[Petbunny] Amy/Don't tell me

[Amanda Hallock]

And that's all we can ask--that you try, and continue to keep trying.  Even
if the old Criss doesn't come back exactly the same, we'll take the Criss
that comes back in any form she comes.  After all, family accepts you with
all the nicks, dings, and dents.  Character building, right?

*hugs*
Mandy

-----Original Message-----
From: Forum for folks with companion rabbits [mailto:PETBUNNY at LSV.UKY.EDU]
On Behalf Of Criss and bunnies
Sent: Sunday, January 13, 2008 4:43 PM
To: PETBUNNY at LSV.UKY.EDU
Subject: Re: Amy/Don't tell me

Thank you,

Being there for each other is what makes PB special. I'm happy if I can help
other people when they need me.

All I ask is that people realize this will take me time to recover from. I
think I'm doing pretty good at it, but it's only been 3 weeks since she
left. A month since my world came to a stop.
It will take time for the old Criss to come back, but she's trying .

--
Criss and the Haven 

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, 
skill is knowing how to do it, 
and virtue is doing it!

-------------- Original message -------------- 
From: amy <gall at frontiernet.net> 

> Hi Criss, 
> 
> I echo Amanda's sediments exactly. Please let me/us know what we can do
for 
> you. I also deeply admire and respect your strength and courage that you 
> show. 
> 
> This is why I love being on this pb list. It is very supportive. It is
nice 
> to know that if you need support or advise, bunny or non-bunny related, it

> will be there. 
> 
> Thanks also Criss for being there for me when I needed it. 
> Amy and Trixie and Mr. Shimmer bunny (ATB) 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Criss and bunnies" 
> To: 
> Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 4:30 PM 
> Subject: Re: Mandy/Don't tell me 
> 
> 
> > Thank you, 
> > That's the best thing you can say. 
> > 
> > -- 
> > Criss and the Haven 
> > 
> > Wisdom is knowing what to do next, 
> > skill is knowing how to do it, 
> > and virtue is doing it! 
> > 
> > -------------- Original message -------------- 
> > From: Amanda Hallock 
> > 
> >> All *I* can say is that I respect your strength and courage for 
> >> continuing 
> >> to face each day. I have no idea how hard it is, but every one of us is

> >> here to support you in any way we can. Just ask. 
> >> 
> >> Mandy 
> >> 
> >> -----Original Message----- 
> >> From: Forum for folks with companion rabbits 
> >> [mailto:PETBUNNY at LSV.UKY.EDU] 
> >> On Behalf Of Criss and bunnies 
> >> Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:46 AM 
> >> To: PETBUNNY at LSV.UKY.EDU 
> >> Subject: Don't tell me 
> >> 
> >> A few weeks ago someone posted a note from a parent or something they 
> >> wrote 
> >> after they lost a child. I don't remember if they said this, but if I
was 
> >> going to tell anyone what not to say at a time like this...the first 
> >> thing I 
> >> would say is 
> >> 
> >> "Don't tell me you couldn't bear it if it was your child ." 
> >> 
> >> Yes you can, you don't have a choice. And I'm pretty tired of feeling 
> >> like 
> >> there's a parent contest going on and if I was a better Mom I'd be in
bed 
> >> unable to get up.. I know they don't mean it that way, but after so
many 
> >> Moms tell me that I wonder if they do. 
> >> You can't stay curled up in a fetal position somewhere, bills have to
be 
> >> paid. The electric company expects to be paid, no matter how bad you
feel 
> >> inside. 
> >> 
> >> I survive by being prepared for things. The night Ashley passed I went 
> >> online and set up the payments for the mortgage, the electric and 
> >> anything 
> >> else that I could so that on their due dates they'd be able to take it 
> >> from 
> >> my account. (but just this once). I knew we'd be paid the next day but
I 
> >> might not be thinking about bills when the shock wore off.. I've dealt 
> >> with 
> >> enough victims of crimes to know that shock sets in and sometimes a few

> >> days 
> >> later they can't function. So any info you need has to be taken the
first 
> >> night, before their minds go numb. I was prepared for my mind to turn
to 
> >> mush so I set up payments ahead of time.. Did that mean I wasn't torn
up 
> >> inside? No, it just means the part of me that makes sure the power
stays 
> >> on 
> >> was still in control. The rabbits enjoy heat, water and a place to
live. 
> >> 
> >> The other one would be "Don't tell me you know how I feel.". If you 
> >> didn't 
> >> loose an adult child you couldn't. I know it hurts to loose a parent, a

> >> grandparent, a new born ,to miscarry. I've known all those losses, I 
> >> don't 
> >> take away from that grief when I say it's different. My grandmothers
and 
> >> father were all elderly and in poor health. They all lived long lives ,

> >> it's 
> >> not the same as being taken at 24 from something stupid like a germ.. 
> >> Ashley 
> >> was so careful about germs, in her car and purse she had bottles of
that 
> >> anti germ stuff you use. And yet a germ killed her, how ironic. She had

> >> started becoming a vegetarian and was getting into better shape because

> >> she 
> >> was joining the service. My dad and his mother died because they ate 
> >> wrong 
> >> and didn't take care of themselves. (Ashley wanted to avoid that
fate... 
> >> it's almost funny now) 
> >> 
> >> And as much as I love my bunnies, my chow that crossed over and all the

> >> other animals I grieved over. It can't compare to the loss of my human 
> >> child... I know, I was surprised to... I took Cassa's loss hard, so I
can 
> >> understand how much it hurts to lose a companion. But don't tell me you

> >> know 
> >> what I am going through because you lost a parrot. I understand what
you 
> >> mean, I've lost many furry children in the past. But if I wasn't such a

> >> animal lover I'd think you were insane for comparing the two. 
> >> 
> >> So anyway the next time you have to deal with a parent that lost a
child 
> >> of 
> >> any age, just remember what I said. It will make you look smarter and
the 
> >> parent feel a little better if you don't say I couldn't bear it, or I 
> >> know 
> >> how you feel.. 
> >> 
> >> -- 
> >> Criss and the Haven 
> >> 
> >> Wisdom is knowing what to do next, 
> >> skill is knowing how to do it, 
> >> and virtue is doing it! 
> >