[Petbunny] OT: Monday humor

[Cindy Fisher]

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan
woman appeared in the window of a gym.  It said:

"THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those
of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed  
by the
gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have  
adorable
baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing  
themselves
with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places  
like
Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are
wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible  
creatures
and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved,  
protected
and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up  
outside the
offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?   
They don't
have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to  
mention
how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to
mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my
friends.  With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much  
information
and wisdom in our heads that, when there is no more room, it  
distributes out
to the rest of our bodies.  So we aren't heavy, we are enormously  
cultured,
educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the  
mirror I
will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am!"