[Petbunny] OT: Monday humor

[Andrea Zander]

This one is making the rounds--I posted it to PB last week, Cindy!  Do over,
do over.  :)

Andrea Z and the Z Zoo

On Mon, Aug 10, 2009 at 11:17 AM, Cindy Fisher <clfisher17 at cox.net> wrote:

> Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan
> woman appeared in the window of a gym.  It said:
>
> "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"
>
> A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those
> of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the
> gym.
>
> To Whom It May Concern:
>
> Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
> humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable
> baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves
> with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
> Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are
> wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures
> and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved,
> protected
> and admired by almost everyone in the world.
>
> Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside
> the
> offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?  They
> don't
> have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention
> how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to
> mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
>
> The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
>
> P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
> skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
> kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my
> friends.  With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much
> information
> and wisdom in our heads that, when there is no more room, it distributes
> out
> to the rest of our bodies.  So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
> educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror
> I
> will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am!"
>